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Do you need Counselling and Bereavement. We experience grief when you realise that you have lost somebody.

People experience grief in different ways and each persons experience is unique.

Different emotions associated with grief include:

  • sorrow
  • longing
  • guilt
  • numbness
  • anger
  • hopelessness
  • loneliness

Going through loss has up and down days and these are stages that the grieving person goes through

  • accepting that your loss really happened
  • experiencing the pain that comes with grief
  • trying to adjust to life without the person who died
  • putting less emotional energy into your grief and finding a new place to put it i.e. like moving 

Once you have accepted your loss and spent time understanding and releasing your emotions, you may eventually find yourself adjusting to a new kind of life.

How you cope with this stage will again depend on what kind of relationship you had with the person who died. If you shared your daily life with them, then the changes to your life are likely to be bigger than if you only saw that person once in a while.

When a big gap opens up in your life very suddenly, it can throw everything into complete turmoil. Suddenly, everything can seem different, where nothing feels real. The realisation that everyday life goes on even though your own life has been ripped apart can feel like a massive blow. With time you will start to adjust to life without them.

Life begins to take you on a new route. You may always remember the person who died, and you may continue to grieve for their loss. This is not a bad thing, you have found a way to channel your emotions into new things, you have found a way to cope. 

Mourning is an important part of bereavement. Mourning involves rituals like funerals, wakes and anniversary celebrations, which help to add structure to an otherwise chaotic and confusing time.

Mourning allows us to say goodbye. Seeing the body, watching the burial, or scattering the ashes is a way of affirming what has happened. As hard as it is, sometimes we need to see evidence that a person really has died before we can truly enter into the grieving process.

Many people compare their grief to waves rolling onto a beach. Sometimes those waves are calm and gentle, and sometimes they are so big and powerful that they knock you off your feet completely.

Sometimes, the wave of grief can be so powerful that it leads to:

  • Not wanting to get out of bed.
  • not taking care of your hygiene or appearance.
  • Not eating properly.
  • The feeling that you can’t carry on living without the person you’ve lost.
  • Not feeling able to go to work.
  • Taking your feelings out on other people.

All of these reactions are normal part of grief.

Signs that grief has turned into depression include:

  • feelings of guilt unrelated to your recent loss
  • a feeling that you are worthless
  • feeling sluggish, drained and confused
  • struggle to speak coherently
  • difficulty carrying out everyday tasks

If you think you, or someone close to you, is suffering this depression and feelings of guilt, then it is important to find support as soon as possible. Leonie also offer Skype sessions.